Introvert or extrovert? Understand your personality

When people use the word introvert, it often carries along a negative connotation. They confuse introverts with being shy or antisocial. But I don’t see that as being the case. While I once considered myself shy, I can no longer attach myself to the label. Plus, I would never say I’m antisocial. For most part, I enjoy being around people and making new friends. I just need to balance those experiences with my need to be alone and recharge.

While extroverts crave high energy environments with people for their stimulation, introverts crave quiet, low-key environments. Although these things aren’t absolute, understanding how someone reacts in these situations tells a lot about a person. The important thing to learn here is neither personality type is better than the other. Our society focuses so much on extroverts: shake hands, assert yourself, speak up, be bubbly. We discard the notion of solitude and reflection. But I think it’s important we find a balance between the two, develop more of yin and yang.

"Our culture made a virtue of living only as extroverts. We discouraged the inner journey, the quiet for a center. So we lost our center and have to find it again." -Anaïs Nin

If you haven't yet read Susan Cain's book Quiet, I highly recommend picking up a copy. Cain offers a thought-provoking discussion on both personality types. She sheds a lot of light on the great introvert vs. extrovert debate. Her book helped me better understand my introverted nature as well as my relationships with extroverts. I’ve learned to embrace my introverted nature. I understand why I react the way I do to situations. I also understand how that reaction impacts my personal life, my job and my goals in life. The knowledge and understanding has made my life a lot easier. I can leverage my strengths and acknowledge my weaknesses.

Life lately: July

July was an exciting month full of travel and joy. Summer has been an exactly perfect balance of busy days and restful days. The older I get, the more I realize and understand how important this balance is for me. But it sure is flying by, isn't it? Here are a few life highlights in the month of July:

In the grizzly morning hours on the Friday before the Fourth of July, my parents and I hit the road, making our way across Pennsylvania to Ohio. My youngest brother, Dan, is camped out at Kent State University for the summer for their REU program, focusing on his love of chemistry. Over drinks and fireworks, we became acquainted with Kent, Ohio and learned about the research projects Dan is working on this summer.

While we were in Kent, Ohio, they hosted their Heritage Festival. There was tons of food, live music and small craft tents set up everywhere.

We watched the fireworks on the patio at our hotel.

In between weekend trips, I decided to chop off about five inches of my hair. I'm really loving it. I can't get over how much I love the way my curls form when I allow it to air dry.

Later in the month, I made a last-minute decision to drive down to Topsail Island, North Carolina to join my mom, my brother Kyle and my nephew for a few days in the house they were renting. There’s something magical about watching the ocean waves kiss the shoreline again and again. It never gets old. We practically had the beach to ourselves for most of the week. It felt like we were on our own private island!

There was a Supermoon on our first night at North Topsail Beach. I loved watching the waves dancing in the moonlight.

Jace was a little ham, as always. I loved watching him run after the seagulls and play in the water.

Doesn't get more beautiful than this.

Random get-togethers with friends are always fun. Know what's even more fun? Drinking cocktails on the Reading Phillies (excuse me, Fightin' Phils) field with friends. We had a blast chatting, sipping drinks, watching baseball and checking out the post-game fireworks. Plus, I got to see my momma at the game for a bit.

More fireworks, of course!

The XPoNential Music Festival is always one of my favorite events of summer. What better way to spend the day listening to all different genres of new music and enjoying the views of the Philadelphia skyline.

Just Dad, me and my finger.

Hurray for the Riff Raff

How's your summer going so far?

My summer reading list

Summer is here! In fact, we're already digging our toes into the dog days of summer. It's hot and sticky, and the days are long. Usually the long days mean lots of reading outside - by the pool, near the ocean or in the park. With all these longer days you would think I'd have read more books by now. Yet, I've only managed to finish reading two. My reading list is heavy on the non-fiction lately. I'm excited to change things up with a stack of fiction reads for the rest of summer. Here's my summer reading list:

Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking by Susan Cain • Ever since I heard Susan Cain's powerful TED talk, I've wanted to read her book. She made me realize while I may have trained myself to act like an extrovert in social situations (let's face it, it's an extrovert's world out there), deep down I'm truly an introvert and draw energy from moments of solitude.

The Windup Girl by Paolo Bacigalupi • TIME magazine named this book one of the top 10 books of 2009, but I think it was a Wired magazine bookshelf Instagram that turned me on to the author. Set in future Bangkok, the novel suggests what life might be life if calories were currency and bioterrorism was real.

I Am Malala: The Girl Who Stood Up for Education and Was Shot by the Taliban by Malala Yousafzai • Malala captivated me with her grace and humility during her interview with Jon Stewart. She bravely stood up to the Taliban and fought for her right to an education.

The Cuckoo's Calling by Robert Galbraith • After it was revealed that Robert Galbraith was really a pseudonym for Harry Potter creator J.K. Rowling, I wonder how many people actually read the book description before they dove into this book? It's juicy crime novel encompassing an investigation into supermodel's suicide, and I've heard nothing but praise around it.

The Silkworm by Robert Galbraith • J.K. Rowling is on a roll publishing her second crime novel in this series. It makes sense to read them back to back, no?

The Good Luck of Right Now by Matthew Quick • From the author of The Silver Linings Playbook comes a story about a man who has lived with his mother for 38 years until she gets sick and dies. Now he's flung out into the world attempting to create a life of his own. Quick is said to have beautifully weaved a story around his characters that is not only humorous, but also inspiring.

The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker • I am fascinated by post-apocalyptic fiction in bizarre way that I don't even understand. Like the R.E.M. song, it's the end of the world as we know it (and I feel fine).

The Leftovers by Tom Perrotta • Who isn't talking about HBO's new TV series The Leftovers? I feel compelled to read the book before I dive into yet another series.

The Vacationers by Emma Straub • I read an excerpt from this book and discovered it was set in Mallorca. I can't help but feel nostalgic when anyone mentions the beautiful Balearic island, and, better yet, it sounds like the perfect summer read.

#GIRLBOSS by Sophia Amoruso • Amoruso shares how she grew her vintage clothing business on eBay into a $100 million fashion retail business with 350 employees that ships to 60 countries. It helps that she's upfront and cheeky about her whole experience too.

Euphoria by Lily King • Based on the adventures of revolutionary anthropologist Margaret Mead, Euphoria tells the story of three anthropologists and their tumultuous relationships. I'm in it for a peek at other fascinating cultures and a good read, of course.

Hard Choices by Hillary Clinton • There was much fanfare around Hillary's latest book. I figure if Hillary is to run for president in 2016, I'm interested in getting inside her head and better understand her motivations. Not saying I'm voting for her.

What are you reading this summer?

Life lately: June

June is always my favorite (birthday!) month. It means outdoor get-togethers with friends and family. It means refreshing German Hefeweizens. It means the morning sun beaming in my window. Here are few snapshots from the month of June. I blinked, and it was over.

As part of my birthday present, I went to see First Aid Kit play at Union Transfer in Philly. I hadn't really listened to them until the concert. And boy did they blow me away with their performance. Given how young they are, I was surprised to learn how long they've been performing together. I highly suggest checking out this Swedish sister duo.

My mom and I

Scotty

We surprised the heck out of my cousin Scott for his 30th birthday. His sister Lauren hosted the party at her house and coordinated these amazing t-shirts with Tröegs-like logos. He was still reeling with shock at how much effort we put into his party hours and hours later. He's a great guy who always puts others before himself. It only makes sense that we did something cool just for him. What can I say? I feel pretty lucky to have him in my life.

Plants are cool

My dad and I hung out at the Millersville Plant Conference, where he sold native plants and wildflowers for his business Keystone Wildflowers. I was surprised at how much more I learned about native plants. Even more so, I was surprised at how much fun I had hanging out with him and his plant friends.

USA vs. Ghana

'Merica

I've learned a lot more about soccer lately. I'm by no means well-versed in all the rules, but I'm very good at yelling at the TV. Not to mention, I'm getting pretty good at picking out the Chelsea players on the various teams. Now that the World Cup is here, it's been a lot of fun to gather with our friends and watch matches together. Most USA matches were spent hot and sweaty jammed inside Tellus360. The walk back to our friends' house after USA beat Ghana was my favorite moment. We were cheering and chanting USA to anyone who would listen!

Knubbs on summer solstice

Knubbs and I took a walk one hot summer night. Poor guy was exhausted. First thing I did was fill him a cool bowl of water. Second thing I did was I plant my feet in the pool, and he plopped down right next to me.

Natty Boh

Max's Taphouse

My good friend Chelle lives in Baltimore with her husband, and my other good friend Amy was in town to visit her sister who also lives in Baltimore. So, I made a random trip down to Baltimore one night, and I'm so glad I did. I don't know why we don't all get together like this more often. Maybe it's because we have a little too much fun when we're all together?

Fed Hill view of the harbor

Last but not least is this view. Chelle's brother has a gorgeous point of view of Baltimore's Inner Harbor. We drank in the scenery and enjoyed Flying Dog Old Bay Summer Ales and 21st Amendment Hell or High Watermelon Wheats. Sigh. Oh summer.

Behind the square boxes of perfection

I have 513 friends. I regularly share personal moments and epistolary updates with all of them. But how well do they know me? Just because we are Facebook friends, does that mean we really know each other? Are they even listening?

We are all guilty of social media manipulation. Snap a photo on a bright, sunny day, at a fun, interesting event. Throw in an exciting, exaggerated caption. Maybe add a filter and post it on Instagram and Facebook. It’s a square box of perfection. Right?

On the flip side, during a particular low moment, we tap open Facebook or Instagram and scroll through our friends’ feeds. Parties on the opposite coast. Adorable babies hamming it up. Over-the-top vacation get aways. And those damn, cute couples devouring up your feed.

We use social media to share the “best” version of ourselves. But a perfected perception doesn’t always equal reality. What you don’t see are the tears we shed. The bad decisions we make. The unbelievable mess in our living room. Real life isn’t always perfect square photos. It’s lived and messy. It’s beautifully chaotic.

Here’s a little peek into the reality behind my square paragons:

Looks like I'm just taking in the intricate ceiling of 30th Street Station after a great night in Philadelphia, right? Well, not quite. Mike and I spent a beautiful day in Philadelphia with our friends. As the night came to a close, we rushed to catch our train back to Lancaster. And we missed it by five minutes. Just five minutes. I spent the minutes after calming down Mike, and figuring out an alternate plan. My little brother came to our rescue, and we saved us. But those frazzled moments in between were less than perfect.

My family and I had a fun night out celebrating my brother Dan's 21st birthday, but getting there was a bit chaotic. As the host, my tiny apartment served as the hub for evening. Packing nine people in my living space meant cleaning and baking and rearranging and preparing. I was so distracted that whole day, I nearly forgot about an important work task.

Knubbs is unbelievably cute. There is no denying that. But the story behind the photo is a little less cute. My boyfriend works every weekend, and when his grandfather goes away, Knubbs is all alone. So, the two of us hung out one night. Since my boyfriend and Knubbs usually sleep together in his bed, I felt bad and tried to do the same. He refused to sit still ALL night. After enduring his fidget fit, I finally had enough and in his crate he went. Guess how much I slept that night?

Don’t let social media veil your perception of reality. No one is perfect. We are human. And being human means accepting the roller coaster of emotions - both the sunshine and the storm clouds.

Happy National Poetry Month!

In honor of National Poetry Month, I thought I'd share an old poem I wrote back in college called "the city that sleeps with the fishes." I wrote it in fixed verse form like a sestina but with my own special touch. The poem has so much personality, and it still is one of my favorites. It was published in Shoofly Literary Magazine at Kutztown University.

the city that sleeps with the fishes

hustling, boisterous commuters blur finger-smudged camera lenses murky rain puddles line curbs splashing unsuspecting pedestrians

finger-smudged camera lenses cars swim down the passing lane splashing unsuspecting pedestrians bowing down for a sweet swan song

cars swim down the passing lane backstroke, breaststroke, freestyle, butterfly bowing down for a sweet swan song bursts of laughter erupt from within

backstroke, breaststroke, freestyle, butterfly asphyxiated Mother of Exiles bursts of laughter erupt from within cruising and schmoozing in my super yacht

extinguished golden flame of Exiles chemically marinated catfish navigate cruising and schmoozing in my super yacht submerged buildings can’t scrape the sky

chemically marinated catfish navigate murky rain puddles choke curbs submerged buildings can’t scrape the sky hustling boisterous commuters vanish

Slow it down

Sometimes the world spins a little too fast. Slow it down.

Take a breath.

Stop worrying so much.

Live in the present.

You are not in a race to have the biggest social following or make the most money. Life is instead a journey to be the best version of yourself and to leave the world better than when you arrived. Be happy.

Give yourself a little time away from it all to solve bigger problems. Wrestle with new ideas. Reflect.

Consider this a gentle reminder to step away from the computer and slow things down.

Should you be Facebook friends with your clients?

While it may seem silly to some, I briefly struggled with deciding to become Facebook friends with one of my clients. What if I said something wrong? What if a friend posted an unflattering photo of me? How comfortable would I be if he saw all the photos I share of my family members?

For years, my generation, the Millennials, was told to be cautious of oversharing on the internet. We've grown up in a world where every accident and every rash tweet is indexed and archived away. Who could blame me for being wary?

Whether you think you should become Facebook friends with your clients or not, I'm very happy with my decision. During my client's quarterly trips to the states, we crammed in as many stories about jazz, travel and, of course, craft beer as we could. In between, we'd get to know each other better over a course of Facebook comments, likes and messages. He'd share his magnificent travel photos with family, and I'd share some of my writing. I remember he sent a personal message on Facebook about how much he enjoyed reading my personal blog. He told me he spent hours reading it. Hours. I was taken aback. He was a busy guy. Always on the road, traveling somewhere new. I was touched he would take hours out of his day to read something I wrote.

His words stay with me, particularly after I learned of his recent passing. He made me realize all your passions - be it photography, travel, writing, yoga, cycling, horseback riding, technology. These passions are your +1. They give you your creative edge. These things you love so much make you better - in your career and as an individual.

How can you separate your personal life from your professional life when they are intertwined? You shouldn't shut off who you are when you go into work or when you leave. Unless, maybe, your name is Norman Bates. Why strip away your personality, when it is the very thing that makes you interesting and dynamic?

As the Millennials advance in their careers and move into positions of power, I imagine the attitude of what "professionalism" means will change. Shouldn't you present yourself, both online and in real life, as the most honest, true version of yourself? If you do this, becoming Facebook friends with a client wouldn't be nearly as big of a deal.

What do you think? Are you friends with clients or colleagues on Facebook? What about Twitter?

And now let us welcome the New Year

At the end of last year I wrote about the things I aspired to do in 2013. Rather than mark them as formal resolutions, I concluded my list would be more like a manifesto, or mission statement, for my life. My hope was to repeat these intentions year after year, and hopefully a few of them rub off on the people around me.

2013 was pretty amazing. I've become a lot more comfortable in my own skin and that includes voicing my opinion. I mean, have you heard of Jennifer Lawrence? Women with opinions are awesome. I've grown less vulnerable by sharing these opinions through my writing. That means this thing I'm doing right now, sharing with you, is a big deal to me, and I'm very glad you're reading. For the sake of the new year, I'm repeating my manifesto of ideas for 2014. If nothing else, it's good reminder for me to keep striving to be the best version of myself and be happy.

Travel to new places. I nailed this one by traveling to Hawaii this summer with my parents. With a few short trips to Baltimore, Philadelphia and New York City sprinkled in between, I'd say I was fortunate enough to have a wonderful year of travel. What's brewing for 2014? Hopefully more short trips here and there as well as a possible trip to the west coast. Stay tuned!

Exercise often and stay motivated. So, this was "run at least two 5Ks," but I think I only squeezed in one last year. I signed up for the Yuengling Light Lager Jogger 5K on April 12, but I haven't been very diligent in running lately. This dark, cold weather is not the best motivator for post-work runs. For 2014, I'm on the hunt for some safe trails to run in the Lancaster area, and I hope to get back into my morning yoga flow.

Get more sleep. I did A LOT better with this in 2013, and have enjoyed more restful sleeping patterns. I minimized my caffeine intake and listened to my body when I was stressed out. Sometimes that meant tucking myself into bed with a cup of tea and a book at 8 p.m. Hopefully this habit continues into 2014.

Cook or bake something new every month. This statement also changed from last year. I realize now cooking something NEW every week is just not realistic. It requires a lot of effort and patience. Once a month is much more doable. When I was at my parents' house over Thanksgiving, I copied down a lot of my grandmother's old recipes. I'm looking forward to reviving some of her delicious treats in 2014.

Give more warm greetings and farewells to the people I love. This is probably my favorite of all of my ideas. My family is the hugging kind, and I love it. What better way to stay happy and remind people you love them than a giant hug? Sometimes it's all we need to change our whole outlook on the day.

My wish for in the new year is to be happy. Embrace the people you love. Enjoy the things you are most passionate about. Stay beautiful. Be thankful for what you have. Help others. Achieve your dreams. Life is short to be anything other than happy. Cheers!

My most popular blog posts in 2013

As one year ends and another takes its place, what better way to reflect on the gems of the past year than by looking at its most moving and intriguing writings? I've assembled a list of the most read and shared articles published here on my own corner of the internet in 2013. From open letters to my travels in Hawaii, catch up on the year's most popular reads. Enjoy, and thank you for joining me for another exciting year.

Happy 60th birthday Dad

1. An open letter to my dad on his 60th birthday Who would've thought a very personal note to my dad on his 60th birthday would be the most popular post on my blog?

Power of Positive Thinking

2. The power of positive thinking through right speech Intrigued by Buddhism's connection with the suppression of ego and the encouragement of mindfulness, I explore the Noble Eightfold Path and the importance of positive thinking through right speech.

Lindsay and cake

3. Belgian beer...and cake? It's no secret that I love Belgian beer. One of my favorite Belgian beer festivals in held every year in Baltimore at a glorious taphouse called Max's.

Words vs. actions

4. Do your actions contradict your words? They say actions speak louder than words, but, you know, words are important too.

Zebra on the Big Island of Hawaii

5. Did I just see a zebra in Hawaii? Believe it or not, I spotted a zebra while on the Big Island of Hawaii.

Sheryl Sandberg

6. How do the people around you impact your success? Do the people you surround yourself with add value to your experiences? Their morals, choices and values reflect the person you are as well as your future self.

Kilauea sea arch

7. Three awe-worthy moments on the Big Island After I traveled to Hawaii, I was fortunate enough to experience some out of this world amazing things that most people don't get to see every day.

Lancaster PA apartment

8. Should you live alone? Living on your owns has its ups and downs. Knowing I have a quiet space to come home to and plenty of alone time recharge can definitely be comforting sometimes.

Outer Banks NC in January

9. Here's to the wonderful friendships in my life How is it that people consider friendships an alternative or runner-up to romantic relationships? I am very thankful for all the wonderful people - family and friends - I have in my life who are always there for me.

Map of Hawaii

10. My Big Island must sees Before I took my trip to Hawaii, I had a lot of expectations. I documented them here.